Thursday, October 03, 2013

Overcame #tbt

Last week my phone vibrated. I swiped the screen and saw the event my husband added to our family calendar. Rani, Dr. appt. Dr. Keppen... and my whole world came crashing in, again.

Thinking back to 2006, I can name so many obstacles that I have overcome. It's a miracle how much I have changed physically. Once, ridden with cancer, I couldn't even turn over in my bed. I called a friend to come and help me. I became pregnant twice with two amazing, healthy, angels. Physically weak and heavy, more friends encouraged me to move. Now strong and healthy, I try to encourage others. Change is so evident.

But, mentally, there is much more to work on. My fear is too strong, as I think about walking into that Dr. office today and hearing what he has to say...

I am such a hyprocrite. I preach God's plan to everyone as I tell them my life story in the first few minutes we meet. Then, so quickly I fall to pieces when reality smacks me in the face.

As I was putting on my face, trying to get my shaking hand to mascara my eyelashes, I became disgusted. What do I fear? I know that whatever the plan is, I am His. I am loved.

Mandissa's song plays in my head...."Overcomer". Thoughts of this day fill my head.