The Appointment

I was on the the last page of the third book in the Hunger Games trilogy when Dr. Keppen tapped on the door to the room. I tore myself away and immediately began sweating. What did the blood work reveal? Hold on I am getting ahead of myself...

The morning began normal enough. Wakey wakey, walky walky, talky talky...home by 6:30. I tried to shower but for some reason I got sidetracked making lists of my errands so it was after 7 before I cleaned up. I had to hit the bank before I left town and here it doesn't open until 8:30 am. Subconsciously I knew I had several "errands" planned to distract me from the real reason I had to get to town. Right before I left the house I texted my college roomie and made a lunch date. Now I had something to look forward to, good or bad news couldn't change that.

Two hours and the same number of errands later I arrived at the Cancer Center. A quick ride up the elevator and I was on the right floor. They gave me the beeper coaster thingamabob that is so weird and not convenient to carry with my purse, two books, sweater and phone. I really had to use the restroom (damn coffee) so that was my first stop after checking in. I was carrying so much that I had no place to set the stuff down (you know how disgusting those floors are) so I plopped my purse into the other sink and went to wash. Before I could, I heard the automatic faucet turn on and I saw the water pour, at full strength, into my purse and onto the annoying beeper thingy. I tried to get everything out of the sink before it got too wet. For the next hour I dripped like a leaky faucet.

I left a drying path of droplets all the way to the laboratory where I sat and waited to get poked. I read  a few pages until I heard a familiar voice say, "Haven't seen you for quite some time, thank goodness." The technician did a great job of chit chatting and doing her job so well that I could not even feel the needle enter my arm. Though, as I watched each vial fill up I wondered how they can do that one handed. She repeatedly removed a vial, tilted it up and down and effortlessly inserted another vial on the needle with a single hand. I kept thinking about what would happen if i coughed or twitched. Would the needle go through my arm? Why does my brain always think of these awful things? She removed the needle, the rubber strap, and her strong hold on my arm and grabbed a cotton ball and a piece of tape to stop the trickle of blood. "Apply a bit of pressure there, dear," she said to me. "Good luck." she nodded to me as I picked up my stuff and walked down the hall and around the corner to the waiting room.

I usually love watching people. The people in waiting rooms are so interesting. There is always some drama going on and I love guessing what they do or what they are "in" for. You can always identify the ones who are coming for infusion. They usually have a large bag of stuff to occupy them and maybe some snacks. They are comfortably dressed in casual clothes or sweats. If they have been going through treatment for a while they may have a bandanna or a hat on their thinning or bald head. Some have a tubes on their chest coming from their port. Many have an iv pole or a wheelchair, recovering from surgery. We all have one terrible thing in common. The "C" word.

But this time I had no desire to people watch. The Mocking Jay was enough to keep me distracted. The hour and 15 minutes I had to wait flew by. When my beeper went off it startled me and then I smiled because I was relieved that I didn't break the darn thing by letting it go for a swim in my purse. The nurse walked me back to the room.

I rattled off the list of my vitamins. She typed them in. She asked me the required questions. I answered them between nervous fidgets. She tried to take my blood pressure. The first time she reminded me gently to not cross my legs. The second time she asked me not to wring my hands. The third time she asked me to sit on the paper sheet so she could do it the "old fashioned way".

"I guess I am a little nervous." I said.

"It's normal." she answered.

I bet. I thought in my anxious nervous brain I didn't say it out loud. I also thought this. Let's get on with it.

"So," she asked as she glanced at my book with the blue and silver cover "Are you team Peeta or team Gale?" We discussed the book for a few minutes and then she left me to finish the last 10 pages.

Minutes later the rap on the door jolted me back into reality.

So, the results?

The Doctor clears his throat. "Let's see....um hmmm....yep." "Um I  just want to look at these other numbers, too... yep everything checks out. I'd like to see you in a year again."

Then I let out a BIG HUGE SIGH.

Thanks so very much for your prayers.

a peek into the past

got an email today from a friend with a small request

couldn't find the words I needed so I went digging

read this

and cried

the LORD has been so good to me, SO GOOD TO ME

see you in six months

Just before I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma I lost 10 pounds, in a few days. It was awesome. I felt great, except for the cough. The cough that was becoming my normal. The cough that, along with the night sweats, and the weight loss = cancer.

Anyway. During chemotherapy I gained weight. Lots of weight. Like 30 pounds. Then after chemo, I got pregnant. Then after that pregnancy I got pregnant again. You see where this is going, don't you?

I am overweight, more than I have ever been in my life. I have aches and pains that an overweight person has. Lower back, feet, and just plain exhaustion issues are normal day to day experiences now.

So, when I went to the doctor yesterday the first thing he said to me, again, was, "Well, we are not losing any weight yet, huh?" Simple as that sentence is it HURTS. It cut me and I felt my tears well up and my heart squeeze in my chest. I HATE being fat. It is uncomfortable even painful. I like to exercise, I like to eat healthy but my body just doesn't react to these things the way it did before... before I was pregnant for two years, before I spent 6 months pumping poison into my veins to "heal" me. I have changed and I am starting to wonder if this is me now.

This new hair with curls and grey, this new skin with patches that dry up right next to patches that are oily, these new scars that spasm and roll when I stretch or move, this new body that has aches and pains that a few years ago I never thought could exist.

I just wish he would have said, "You are maintaining your weight." That wouldn't have hurt so much. He would like me to be back to pre-cancer weight, which is 25 pounds from where I am now. I feel like all my effort, although not terribly consistent, are in vain. It may seem odd, but it feels terribly selfish to worry about my self when there are so many others to care for right now.

Anyway...my t-cells are coming back to normal levels. Doc says it can take 5 years or more for t-cells to bounce back in Hodgkin's patients. He recommends all vaccinations, flu shots etc. until my levels are normal. Otherwise all is well.

Thanks for your prayers. My next appointment is in 6 months. He challenged me to lose 10 pounds. Let's hope I can exceed that.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you... Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
Romans 8:18

I learned this morning that a dear friend who has been battling lung cancer has gone to live with the Lord. Death has no dominion over us. Kenny is pain free in heaven this morning. All glory be to the Lord!

My thoughts are with Sherry and her family this morning.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. Revelation 21:4 "

Luke 12:22-34

Do Not Worry
22Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
27"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. 32"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Fresh eyes

I met a family today. They moved into the neighborhood two weeks ago. She walks past my house everyday to go and get her kids from school. I said hello to her today, for the first time. We chatted a bit. She caught me off guard, as she looked at my toy laden back yard, and asked if I did daycare. "No, I used to, well...it's a long story..." I didn't get into it. I asked her where she worked. She is looking for a job. She use to be a lunch lady in Brandon. We chit chatted about school, small towns and how to get bed upstairs in tiny old homes. It was nice.

It exhausts me to think about filling a new person in on the events of my life in the past few years. I. just. don't. want. to. do. it. Maybe I will sometime. Or maybe, I will let our little town tell the story itself. We'll see.

Turning tables

I spoke briefly on the phone with a friend this morning. I am sure you all know me well enough by now to know that I am rarely at a loss for words. Yet, I feel like I just couldn't find anything worth saying to her. I had that feeling way down deep in the pit of me. The only word I can use to describe it is guilt.

You see, my friend is battling the bully. Yep, it's the C word again. It seems to almost be a household name around here. Even my daughter said, "Mom, it's a sad summer, everyone has cancer."

Everytime someone new gets into the club (this is one I hope you never join), I feel guilt. Why am I still here and others gone? Why is it so hard for some and relatively painless for others? Why, when I am assumably an expert on this issue, do I have nothing to say?

It hard being on the other side. It isn't fun. I don't like it. I wish I could be more helpful. I need to pray about this.

Every piece is a part...

of His plan, that is.

Friday, I had a Dr. appointment. They are pretty much routine now. This pregnancy is a little bit different than my others because I have the opportunity to participate in a research project called Safe Passage. The USD medical research department and Sanford Hospital along with South Dakota and another Midwest state and (get this) South Africa are doing research on SIDS. It is pretty interesting stuff. I pretty much just lay there and visit with the research assistant while they monitor the baby and ask me a few questions. When the baby is born, they will do a few quick and painless tests on him/her and that will be it.

I met a new assistant this time and we got to talking and wouldn't you know it? She is a cancer survivor. She blogged about it, too. She's two years out, just like me. She has two children. We have a lot of similarities. We spent the whole hour talking about how blogging was like therapy for us. It felt like those 60 minutes went by in a flash. The hospital is opening a new infusion center in a few months and she is on the planning committee for it so she was asking me if I had any suggestions. It was actually nice reminiscing about something that wasn't so pleasant. I believe strongly that going through it changed my life, for the better. There was so much growth in those 6-12 months. I can't really explain it. She is a Christian, too. That was the real clincher for me. I just knew it was part of the Big Plan for me to meet her and visit with her. I soaked up her positivity and her strong commitment to others who are fighting the bully. I may even get on the list to volunteer at the center. I think I would find it extremely fulfilling and hopefully I could help others who are just starting or ending their fight. Maybe it's what I am supposed to do when I grow up? Only He knows for sure, but I am posting a note in my crazy momma brain to think about it a little more and seriously consider how I can be of service to others.

It would have been impossible...

Many of our friends and family kept telling us not to get pregnant in Hawaii.

Since #1 told the entire kindergarten class and most of our family knows I figured it was time to let Kris off the hook.

Happiness is a journey...

Life is full of lots of unexpected little surprises...and some pretty big ones, too.

I had my ultrasound done in February as the doctor requested. As usual, I was feeling rushed I needed to get back to town to pick up the kids from school and just wanted to get this over and done with. The scan required a full bladder and I was so uncomfortable on the long interstate ride in that I prayed for the urge to go away so that I could have a good scan. I failed and stopped at a gas station to pee before I even made it to the hospital. I felt awful. Good thing I drink a ton of water and my bladder was plenty full by the time of the scan.

#3 was with me because dad was working and she was sleeping, I secretly hoped she would stay that way for the 30 minute ordeal.

The technician called me in and she saw how uncomfortable I was so she did the outside scan first with that hot petroleum jelly. I was glad when it was over and I was able to pee again.

Then came the internal part, icky. Of course the baby started crying as soon as we got started and I told the tech to take her time and ignore the baby. She seemed flustered and at one point stopped the scan to put the pacifier in #3's mouth. It didn't help.

After she was finished I hurriedly got dressed and fed the baby a bottle. The tech came in and said she was getting a second opinion and could I wait. I called my dh and told him that something was going on. They usually just send me home and call me with the results. Then the tech came in one final time and told me that I needed to go to my doctors office. I tried to stay as calm as I could but my heart was racing and my throat was closing up. I called my dh and asked him to come with me. We talked in a whisper on the way to the doctor's office. What if? What if? We talked about options, a total hysterectomy to avoid chemo and radiation. We talked about regretting not having more babies when we were healthy. It was a long drive across town.

When we got the clinic we checked in and waited. Both of us ignoring the obvious and instead fussing over the baby. After we were called back into the room the nurse took my blood pressure (which was amazingly normal) and my temperature. Then we had to wait again for the doctor. Dh held the baby while I sat in the chair with my head in my hands. All of a sudden I had a tremendous headache. My temples were pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up.

When the doctor came in he immediately sat down on the little stool and said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but..."

My whole life flashed before my eyes. My babies, my husband, my mom...how could I put everyone through this again. Why was this happening? I felt light headed.

Then the words actually entered my ears..."you're pregnant"

I looked at my husband and a huge grin came across his face.

"Everything normal as far as we can see..." the doctors lips were still moving but I couldn't hear the words anymore.

Another baby. Quick calculations in my head came up with the same due date as #3 only one year later. YIKES! Things have not been exactly lovey dovey around here if you know what I mean. I am the poster child for "it only takes once". Call me Myrtle, I guess. Dh is batting "a thousand".

Finally, I spoke,"I guess I am fertile then..." The doctor laughed and said, "There is no question about that."

The PET scan could have posed a small risk, but because I was barely pregnant they are reassuring us that the risk is minute.

We are, of course, in complete shock but at the same time know that God has a plan for our life.

Miracles are happening all the time around here. We are getting quite used to them.

God is so good.

Amen.

p.s. flying is not fun when you are pregnant; can you say 'refuse bag'?

The talk around the department was that a few guys were going to shave their heads in support of Gordy's recent surgery to remove a brain tumor. Soon word got out and it spread through those thin hospital walls that there was a head shaving going on to raise some money. Yesterday, while a barber shop choir harmonized in the background, 26 men and two women shed their hair to raise money to help fight cancer. One woman alone with blond hair past her shoulders raised over $1000 to bring the grand total over $8000. That same woman also donated her hair to locks of love!

It sure was a sight to see several doctors trading in their scalpels, anesthetic drugs and scrubs to roll back their sleeves and shave some heads. They took the job seriously and in an hour had 28 heads finished. They better keep their day jobs as they work much too fast to earn any money as hairdressers. There was even one young fellow cancer patient who used two of her hands and the help of her doctor to shave a therapists head.

Before any cutting began a chaplain put out a neon green box and said that anyone who wanted to donate a dollar could step forward and run their hands through the last few moments of full heads of hair. She called it, "Gordy's I'm too sexy for my hair fund" The music was blaring but there were just too many people for everyone to get a last minute touch and money started falling from the three levels of the hospital lobby as generous onlookers watched the event take place.

As each individual head was finished roars from the crowd encouraged more bills to be thrown and collected. Chanting of names and collecting of cash even encouraged a few who came to the event to 'take the plunge' and cut their hair impulsively. Wonder what their wives thought when they arrived home last night?

It was a testament to the true 'family' side of Sanford. People were patting each other on the back and hugging and giving a lot of money in support of a friend. There were current and past employees of the respiratory department. There were lots of other departments represented as well as the media and tons of family. Babies were being passed around the crowd like it was a big reunion. It was pretty spectacular.


I can't help thinking somebody's gonna have a great garden this year with all that discarded hair to help the soil...

Gordy, we love you man. May the support of many follically challenged friends lift you up and give you the strength you need to get through this battle. May as many prayers go up for you as dollars fell down yesterday. God Bless!

the old grind...

*sigh*

Things are looking as close to normal as possible here at the homestead.

Dad works three day shifts this week and has already picked up two shifts this weekend.

Gotta dig up something for sharing at Kindergarten on Wednesday and that same day the boy brings snack for preschool.

#3 has a check up on Thursday and so does the boy. There is no school on Friday so I scheduled an appointment to seal #1's teeth.

So, when my surgeon's nurse called this morning and asked if Thursday morning worked for me to get the port REMOVED I didn't hesitate a bit and said, "Sure!" Right after his morning heart surgery he will reopen my incision, clip the stitches and remove it and I should be outta there by noon.

Sure hope the hubby doesn't mind running the kids to their check ups...perhaps I should have asked him first...

I should probably find another thing or two to add to the planner this week, eh?

That's all folks...

It's been a heckuva week here at the tiny house in the village.

I had a wonderful, dare I say, reunion with my Bible study gals on Tuesday night. It was delicious. I wish I had the time to do that every week. We prayed and prayed and prayed. It was good.

Wednesday was the PET scan. On the way into the big city I remember that I forgot my sedative that the pharmacy filled the script for in early January and I have been staring at since in the vitamin cabinet. I hoped that I could keep from squirming long enough for that 1 hour wait and 30 minute scan. Grant me the serenity...

The nuclear med tech really knew his stuff this time and when I asked about putting the radiation in my port instead of poking around in my arm he jumped back and said, "ahem...well, we try and avoid sending radioactive material directly to your heart." Oh, yeah, I guess that would be smart, DUH! So then I was asking about nursing and he said breast milk is okay after it's frozen for awhile because radioactive material decays and it would be fine to offer it to her after being frozen a few days, but she could not nurse. Luckily I have weaned her off this month and we are done with breast milk. Oh, and since I was asking he also offered up the following advice, "You probably should avoid holding the baby for today at least, that radiation will centralize itself in the middle of your body (in the bladder) and she shouldn't really be exposed to that." Yeah, that makes sense. If you put me in dark room, I would have probably glowed.

One and a half hours later I was walking out the front door of the cancer center. It was short and sweet. During the agonizing 5 hour wait for the doctor to read my scans and my labs we went shopping for exercise equipment. It probably would have been a much more pleasant experience had the saleslady not been a 90 pound toothpick with hair, who politely said, "You look great for just having a baby..." My hair was matted to the back of my head, my makeup was smeared and I was wearing a hospital bracelet. Had it not been for my husband and the little munch kin in the carseat, she may have thought I just walked out of the mental hospital...

Finally we got to visit with Dr. Keppen. He announced the news with a disclaimer. The Hodgkin's is gone but... I guess the scan showed a spot on my left ovary. It could be a cyst. He was not sure and he stated that he really had no experience with any other cancers so I should get it checked out by someone else. Anyway, the Hodgkin's is gone. GONE! He wants to see me again in 6 months. That's the end of that.

Thanks again for the prayers and support over the last few years. You can close this case and call it a success. I am extremely grateful and passionately indebted to my God, my family, my friends and my community for the awesome ride to wellness.

May God Bless you all.

Countdown to PET scan...

Been sick with something all weekend. My throat is sore, I am snotting on everything and I have had fevers off and on and the cough oh the cough... and to top it all off it looks like I messed up my countdown widget. I am too tired to change it so I just deleted it. PET is scheduled for next Wed. the 27th, 'till then I am trying to recover from whatever hit me this week..

So far I am the only one in the house exhibiting symptoms...

pick on someone your own size, bully...

My sister sent me this today. It is a story about a baby, who is receiving chemotherapy in her eye. My heart leapt into my throat as I thought about how blessed I am to have a healthy baby. Pray with me that little Violet can beat the bully.

from the linked article...

Oct. 11, 2007, is a day the Haaks will never forget. That is when Dr. Leidenix looked into Violet’s eyes with his instruments, and his head fell, like he had seen something he did not want to see.

“I don’t know how to tell you guys this,” the doctor started.

Dr. Leidenix told the Haaks that Violet had Retinoblastoma—cancer in both eyes.

“He said it was very unusual that she had bilateral tumors,” Cassie said.

The odds of a child having Retinoblastoma in one eye is one in 20,000, and the odds for both eyes have not been calculated because it is so rare.

The doctor said Violet’s eyes had fluttered because she was trying to see around the tumors, and the fluttering stopped when she could no longer see.

“We thought she was getting better when the fluttering stopped,” Thomas added.

go here to read more...

"There's No Place Like Hope"

Dh has been working the past three days in a row. Last night he just looked beat. His shoulders were more slouchy and his head was hanging low. I knew he was tired and I didn't want to bother him so I sat quietly on the couch while he glared at the tv screen not even watching the game.

Finally he spoke up. "Work has been rough lately, hon." Now my husband normally doesn't say much of anything so I knew it was really important when he described to me, for the next few minutes, the ordeal that two of his co-workers have been dealing with. It's the big C again. The bully is back and in full force.

One woman that works with dh has been battling it for awhile and just recently may have caught pneumonia. She had to get a tube in her throat to breathe. Imagine working with this woman for years and then having to work on her. Dh says she is in ICU. She is uncomfortable and his heart was busting with pain for her.

Another man just recently was having headaches and went to the doc to see if he could get some relief. He didn't expect to find a brain tumor and stage 4 of the bully. What a shock. DH could barely get the words out of his mouth as he described that the man was given a timeline of 1-2 years. The last time I saw this person he held my #3 in his arms like a baby doll and everyone called him grandpa.

We spent the next while talking about when we found out my diagnosis and how scary and lonely we felt. I was given pretty good news. It was curable. I feel pretty guilty hearing about others whose chance of survival is not so good. We haven't had the scan to read the results of the chemotherapy, but the doc says things are going along just fine.

The truth is we have cancer. It does not have us. After my surgery a friend came to visit and brought me a book called, "There's No Place Like Hope" by Vicki Girard. A guide to beating cancer in mind-sized bites.I love the title and I still read the book pretty regularly. It keeps me on the right track of thinking positively. That bully can drag you down if you don't train your brain to hope and have faith in God.

I don't know if these two people have faith in God, but I know that I do and I am going to use my faith along with the power of prayer to send up some SOS signals to let Him know I am not going to let the bully take them without a fight.

The amazing thing about prayer is that it equally helps the pray-er and the pray-ee. So if you have a prayer list please add Kathy and Gordy to it.

Having faith doesn't mean that we never wonder why we got cancer, only that we believe that God has an answer for all that we go through.It's okay to be mad at God sometimes, just don't refuse to talk to him about it.

Mother Teresa said, "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."

The absolute hardest part about fighting the bully is the not knowing part. If we could only see the future; skip ahead a chapter or two; watch the previews. I believe that knowing that God has a plan for my life was the reason I didn't go nuts while I was waiting to find out what kind of bully I was fighting. I read the last page of the book and I knew the ending already. I accepted that. It made the whole process a lot easier for me.

Heavenly Father,

My husband and I have heavy hearts. The knowledge of this woman and man and their present fight with the bully is weighing us down. We cannot imagine how the families are coping. But, we are wearing the armor of hope. We can't give them much but we can support them and pray for them and so we come to you, where all things are possible.

Please pour your love and light over them and their families. Bring them peace of mind and heart. Help them to choose to live each day fully and treasure the journey of their life. Remind them that they are already survivors. Each moment they are alive they are beating that bully. Give them the strength to honor your will for them. Remind them to come to you for comfort and peace and the power to overcome.

Thank you heavenly Father,
Amen.

Do you have time to click?

October is breast cancer awareness month. I put a breast cancer site icon to the right. Click on it once a day to help fund free mammograms for women in need.

from their site...

Your click on the "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button helps fund free mammograms for women in need — low-income, inner-city and minority women whose awareness of breast cancer and opportunity for help is often limited. Your click is paid for by site sponsors, and mammogram funding is provided to clinics throughout the U.S. through the efforts of the National Breast Cancer Foundation.
Early Detection: Do You Know The Facts?

Each year, 182,000 women are diagnosed with breast cancer and 43,300 die. One woman in eight either has or will develop breast cancer in her lifetime. In addition, 1,600 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 400 will die this year.

If detected early, the five-year survival rate for breast cancer exceeds 95%. Mammograms are among the best early detection methods, yet 13 million U.S. women 40 years of age or older have never had a mammogram.

The National Cancer Institute and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommend that women in their forties and older have mammograms every one to two years. A complete early detection plan also includes regular clinical breast examinations by a trained medical professional. Monthly breast self-exams are suggested in addition.

The Breast Cancer Site provides a feel-good way to help promote awareness of breast cancer and provide free mammograms for women in need every day — through easy and quick online activities.

With a simple, daily click of the pink "Click Here to Give - it's FREE" button at The Breast Cancer Site, visitors help to provide free mammograms for women in need. Visitors pay nothing. Mammograms are provided by our charitable partners.

Please remember to click every day to fund free mammograms and give hope to women in need. Every click counts in the battle to prevent breast cancer.

A visit with the cancer doctor...

I don't know who was more nervous me or him. He rambled on and on about me NOT going into labor in his office, because he would have no clue what to do. He 'forgot' about my being pregnant and freaked out about an elevated blood test level, which scared me a bit. He scheduled a PET scan for late February of next year to restage the Hodgkins. Other than that, same old same old. I felt really out of place in that clinic, though. I don't miss it at all... in fact this pregnancy has kept my brain off cancer for a full 9 months. I couldn't ask for a better distraction.

It's pink and it cleans for a cause...

I want it! You can enter to win, too...

HERE

So, if I win do you think my dh will still do the vacuuming?

Whew, it's only strep...

I was on the phone waiting to schedule a doctor's appointment a little after 7:30 this morning. Listening to the elevator music while inside my brain is spinning; cough = cancer. It can't be. I am just sick, normal sick. My ds has been coughing, too. How young can Hodgkin's get you? I mean, it's environmental. He has lived in the same place I have for the last almost 4 years. Could he? Of course we couldn't get in until this afternoon. So, I spent the morning trying to avoid thinking about it.

So we hurry up and wait at the doctor, and wait, and wait...

Then he finally gets to us and does his thing and tells us it's only strep. Whew! I have not felt relief like that in, well, a long time. I did ask him what the chances are of an almost 4 year old getting Hodgkin's...he smiled and said, "Next to none."

I know the white coat is not a god. I know he is just another imperfect human. I know he is not right all the time. But it felt good hearing it from him.

So we will take some antibiotics and get better. Another day in the life of a stay at home mommy, cancer survivor.

This is what we are doing tomorrow...

August 28, 2007 -- ( 5:30 - 6:30 PM )
Flight of Hope: A Butterfly Release

LOCATION:
Sertoma Park

DESCRIPTION:

AseraCare Hospice invites you to honor loved ones that have been lost or are currently battling illness in this years "Flight of Hope: A Butterfly Release". The event will begin at 5:30 pm with inspirational readings, music and fellowship followed by a collective release of butterflies.