Thursday, December 20, 2012

Just call me...

Mrs. Grinch.

This morning, on my commute to preschool, I missed my turn. Ryan keeps telling me to go on the oil roads and not the gravel. But the gravel is a shorter commute and I am always late so, you know. Anyway, I missed the turn and I was miffed and then I looked in the rear view mirror as I headed to the oil roads and a HUGE snow plow was blocking most of the gravel road I just missed taking.

Then, I dropped off Nora and went to get gas. The price of gas has gone down and I so very much appreciate the break especially right now. Anyway, Addi wanted something so we went in and got her a carton of chocolate milk and, of course, a coffee for me.

Then we were on the road again and, you guessed it, I missed the turn again. I figured it was a sign I needed to go to the bank so we headed into town.

I have been searching for JOY this past month. It seems in November I could find JOY in the smallest of places but now, I just can't conceive it. It makes me sad. Deep down inside sad, hurt in the heart and gut and soul sad. Try as I might to escape this feeling, I just keep sinking. I yell at the kids, I grumble and grump, the tiniest chores and messes ignite me.

So, we are driving a long and out of nowhere Addison says, "Mom, you know what? Christmas isn't about toys you know, it's about sharing and giving and it's actually a birthday party for Jesus."

My heart swelled and my eyes filled up with tears of JOY. She's got it. At least she understands. That makes me so happy. Maybe I am doing something right?

So Mrs. Grinch is a little less bah humbugish for the moment. Not sure, though, how long it will last. Keep praying :)
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