Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It would have been impossible...

Many of our friends and family kept telling us not to get pregnant in Hawaii.

Since #1 told the entire kindergarten class and most of our family knows I figured it was time to let Kris off the hook.

Happiness is a journey...

Life is full of lots of unexpected little surprises...and some pretty big ones, too.

I had my ultrasound done in February as the doctor requested. As usual, I was feeling rushed I needed to get back to town to pick up the kids from school and just wanted to get this over and done with. The scan required a full bladder and I was so uncomfortable on the long interstate ride in that I prayed for the urge to go away so that I could have a good scan. I failed and stopped at a gas station to pee before I even made it to the hospital. I felt awful. Good thing I drink a ton of water and my bladder was plenty full by the time of the scan.

#3 was with me because dad was working and she was sleeping, I secretly hoped she would stay that way for the 30 minute ordeal.

The technician called me in and she saw how uncomfortable I was so she did the outside scan first with that hot petroleum jelly. I was glad when it was over and I was able to pee again.

Then came the internal part, icky. Of course the baby started crying as soon as we got started and I told the tech to take her time and ignore the baby. She seemed flustered and at one point stopped the scan to put the pacifier in #3's mouth. It didn't help.

After she was finished I hurriedly got dressed and fed the baby a bottle. The tech came in and said she was getting a second opinion and could I wait. I called my dh and told him that something was going on. They usually just send me home and call me with the results. Then the tech came in one final time and told me that I needed to go to my doctors office. I tried to stay as calm as I could but my heart was racing and my throat was closing up. I called my dh and asked him to come with me. We talked in a whisper on the way to the doctor's office. What if? What if? We talked about options, a total hysterectomy to avoid chemo and radiation. We talked about regretting not having more babies when we were healthy. It was a long drive across town.

When we got the clinic we checked in and waited. Both of us ignoring the obvious and instead fussing over the baby. After we were called back into the room the nurse took my blood pressure (which was amazingly normal) and my temperature. Then we had to wait again for the doctor. Dh held the baby while I sat in the chair with my head in my hands. All of a sudden I had a tremendous headache. My temples were pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up.

When the doctor came in he immediately sat down on the little stool and said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but..."

My whole life flashed before my eyes. My babies, my husband, my mom...how could I put everyone through this again. Why was this happening? I felt light headed.

Then the words actually entered my ears..."you're pregnant"

I looked at my husband and a huge grin came across his face.

"Everything normal as far as we can see..." the doctors lips were still moving but I couldn't hear the words anymore.

Another baby. Quick calculations in my head came up with the same due date as #3 only one year later. YIKES! Things have not been exactly lovey dovey around here if you know what I mean. I am the poster child for "it only takes once". Call me Myrtle, I guess. Dh is batting "a thousand".

Finally, I spoke,"I guess I am fertile then..." The doctor laughed and said, "There is no question about that."

The PET scan could have posed a small risk, but because I was barely pregnant they are reassuring us that the risk is minute.

We are, of course, in complete shock but at the same time know that God has a plan for our life.

Miracles are happening all the time around here. We are getting quite used to them.

God is so good.

Amen.

p.s. flying is not fun when you are pregnant; can you say 'refuse bag'?
Post a Comment