Bingo FUN!

we are sick today, can't you tell?

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Snow Day Fun

I've got breadcrumbs in the oven toasting. Dad and Gavin are out fishing in the FREEZING cold. Maleah is somewhere in the house and the girls are well everywhere. They have taken all the puzzles out and all the little people and all the barbies and all the nerf guns and pretty much every toy they own....sigh. I am glad it is naptime, cuz that yarn stash has been calling my name alllllllll day.

Functioning on a Friday

The wind and snow are blowing around outside making it difficult to see across the street even in town. As I opened the thermal drapes for a bit of light this morning and looked out I felt a twang of guilt for not driving the kiddos to school. At least the wind was at their back, I hope.

The week went by in a flash and somewhere in the flurry the girls have caught something. They have temperatures, gooey eyes and colorful snot. Their eyes are glazed over and they are sitting in the chair with a blanket watching George the monkey on PBS. This is not normal behavior for them. I have dug through the medicine cabinet and found some eye drops only a few months old. Hopefully it will do the trick and we will not have to brave the elements and visit the clinic.

It is cold in here today, I can feel the wind in my cold toes and fingers. Yesterday was a balmy 30 degrees and we only wore the liners of our winter coats when we went shopping.

For the last few nights we have been bothered by a mewing outside the patio door. It seems a kitten has found shelter under our deck steps. We moved them to put the siding on the house and they didn't fit back perfectly so there is a small space just about perfect for a kitty to squeeze through to wait out the cold and it certainly doesn't hurt that it is directly beneath my dryer vent where I am sure it feels a little like Florida :) The kids have taken quite a liking to him but I refuse to feed the poor creature and Maleah's allergies are flaring up so we need to find him a home. Besides the mewing is quite annoying at 3 am.

I have been whittling down my stash of yarn by crocheting yards and yards of funky scarves. I happen to love them. I may be crazy but it is fun and keeps me from stuffing my face with food. My wrists are a little sore but in the end I think the workouts are good for them :) Spent a good hour or two following a couple of other yarn hoarders around the thrift stores yesterday. They arrived promptly two minutes before me in three separate stores. I think it was a sign or something. I just don't know what to make of it.

Speaking of exercise, I have been consistent but I am just not seeing any new changes. I like my less fat more skin body but it still needs quite a bit of work. I have hit a plateau and I am getting bored. AND I have fallen off the healthy wagon concerning my meals as well which isn't helping things. So, this morning I am making whole wheat flax seed bread and plan to smother a warm piece with honey and butter to end the week on a high note, sigh. I guess I will have yogurt for lunch. I am thinking Boston Creme Pie or White Chocolate Strawberry. YUM.

Well my fingers are itching for yarn so happy Friday ya'll.

Snow Day

I tried this new recipe for my cookie exchange it was a long and tedious process for dainty cookies. I don't know if I would do it again. The checkerboards gave me heck and I ended up making striped cookies and then marbles with the rest of the dough.

Marble cookies:)
Salted nut chews. Ryan's favorite.
8:30 am. The kids were out sledding in a blizzard.

They lasted 15 minutes.

where is the comfort and joy

I can't stand losing control and every year at about this time I lose it. big. time.

While everything around me boasts love and merriment I am screaming on the inside.

The numbers are crunching in my head and it is clear there is not enough to go around. There is never enough and for 11 months out of the year I have no problem with it. But something dark takes hold of me in this season and makes me WANT what is not needed. It is as if I am brainwashed. I know it and I try to prepare for it but every year I fail to fully ignore it.

It is foolish and brings me only feelings of guilt and shame. There are a stack of boxes in my storage area just waiting to remind me of my selfish and immature heart. The kids have the "I want" flu and it hits every December. I justify every gift with excuses and foolish reasons when I should just say no.

Meanwhile the world is spinning faster and faster. My house is a mish mosh of projects from sheet rock repair to painting to trim. The rooms are disheveled. There is five gallon buckets of paint and piles of tools and sandpaper. My husband and I compete for space every day in the kitchen. He needs to finish his projects and I need to cook/clean/bake/prepare. The kids are cranky and fighting. They are begging to put up the tree. Where would we put it? In the center of the room? I can't imagine adding to the chaos. The calendar is chock full of parties, recitals, programs, cookie exchanges and sub days. Tell me why we have to do EVERYTHING in four short weeks? WHY? None of it is about Jesus. I just want it all to be over and done.

Today Addi cut a chunk out of Nora's hair. A CHUNK about 4 inches long and 2 inches wide. The thing is, NO ONE NOTICED. I was at school all day. Dad was busy with projects. Maleah took out Nora's braids for a bath and with the braid came hair, a lot of it. Maleah was shocked and her face was priceless. I think she thought she had done it by taking the rubber band out. Addison announced that she cut Nora's hair with the scissors she found. We still don't know when or where it happened. But there it is, a spike of one inch long hair right on top of her head, just waiting to be photographed thousands of time in the next few weeks. Forgive me that, " it'll grow back" doesn't make me feel better.

At night as I stand in the hallway and point to their bedrooms I pray that I will have time tomorrow to tell them the story, to get out the nativity, to have a conversation with them about the reason for the season. Then, tomorrow comes and I am even more tired and even more lost and even more sad and the whole cycle just keeps me further and further away from the truth.


This is the time of the year when I am supposed to be joyful and at peace and anxious for celebration and all I can think of is what needs to be done, what I haven't checked off the list. It weighs on me and makes me crabby.

So much of what I feel comes from wanting control of things, my children, my home, my life. I know this. I feel the tug of temptation. I know it stems from the darkest of places. Why can't I just ignore it?

This therapy of mine (writing) seems like it doesn't do the trick anymore. I went through Monday without one thought of thankfulness this week. Sigh.

I am feeling pretty bad about myself today. Problem is my mood sets the tone of the house and my mood has got to get moving up. I pray that the next time I have the time to sit and plunk out some words they will be positive ones.

R.I.P. Snowboots

I will be contributing to the economy by spending a ridiculous amount of money this weekend on new boots for both of my school kids because;

a) they have giant feet and

b) winter has taken a toll on their hand me down boots.

Say a little prayer for me, will ya? I loathe spending money.

Know of any good sales on winter boots in the dead of winter?

I can't complain about having a few extra hours to spend with my whole family...

God's peace...is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

I received the following in an email this morning. I guess I appreciate the timing because I was just looking around my house at all the stuff that is lying around with all of us home. I thought it was a nice message to share with others and I rarely do the forwarding thing anymore,apologies if you have heard this one before...

'3900 Saturdays'

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about 'a thousand marbles..' I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say....

' Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's 'dance recital' he continued. 'Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.' And that's when he began to explain his theory of a 'thousand marbles.'

'You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.

'Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.

It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail', he went on, 'and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.' 'I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.'

'Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.

There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight .'

'Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time.. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.'

'It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!'

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.

Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. 'C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast.' 'What brought this on?' she asked with a smile. 'Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.

He's BaaaAAAaaack...

Project man, that is. This time siding and windows. Out with the old...
in with the new.

This is the old living room window.

the quiet is too loud

Last weekend the kids played outside all day.

This morning we awoke to a simple, but persistant snowfall. It's actually a blizzard.

I put the legos out and the kids played nonstop for 4 hours. Then they were tired and crabby. So I put them to bed.

Meanwhile the babies were tired and crabby, too. So I put them to bed. Addi slept. Nora whined. I picked her up. We rock-a-byed.

It got real quiet, quiet enough for me to almost hear the snow falling.

Presently, it's coming down in medium sized flakes forming small swirling tunnels and when the wind picks up it swirls really fast making a barely transpapent curtain like shape until the breeze passes.

The quiet is almost deafening. I can hear cars driving by, the clock ticking, the slow and unsteady breathing of my 5 month old. I can hear the buzz of the kitchen lights and my computer. It is a very unfamiliar sound, the quiet.

I half expect Ryan to wake up because of all this non-noise. He is sleeping because he is working the night shift this weekend.

I hope the blizzard comes fast and big so he cannot make it into work and we get snowed in and can eat and watch movies all night.

Just wishful thinking, I guess.

I'm dreaming of a...

except I'm not dreaming. We ARE going to have a white Christmas, LOTS of white.

I tried to snap a few photos, but it's really hard with a baby in your arms and through a patio door because it's WAY too cold to open it...

I did actually get a break this morning. Little Nora fell asleep in my arms without nursing and let me lay her down :) I should have gotten out a good book (the Bible) or played with my kids or baked some cookies while she was asleep. Instead I scraped the hard water crud off the inside of the dishwasher. I am such a dork. But my glasses will be shining now...actually I only use plastic cups, but a girl can dream.

My husband is snowed in at work (yeah for unexpected overtime!). I told him to take a bag of clothes and necessities last night when he left, but he didn't. He said most of the out of towners who were supposed to work the day shift didn't make it in this morning. He said he'd sleep a few hours at a co-workers place and come back to work tonight so no one cursed him out for putting himself at risk and going home only to not be able to get back in for his next shift. He also said he'd get himself a Christmas present from Walmart...some new tighty whities. I said, "I told you so."

The kids have been playing "Christmas" all morning. They have been shopping for presents and wrapping them and putting up a tree. They saw a bunch of fake Santas and then decided to go to the North Pole and see the real one and then they encountered a snow monster and decided to be one and then they attacked the other snow monster with whiffle ball bats until somebody got hurt and everyone got yelled at and then I made them quit playing and watch a movie. It was only 9:30 am. I love snow days.

Nora is awake, gotta go now.