It's cold outside...

The snow is here!

Communication is the key to a positive family environment. That's why when I found this on my camera I was shocked...


First that he knew how to record a video (he may have recruited a partner) and second that he didn't tell me in person.
Two days later he showed me this...so together, we recorded this.



I think he did a better job on his own ;)

small stuff

I haven't showered since Saturday night, nor vacuumed. I keep thinking I WILL when the girls are sleeping or when I get a free moment. I thought that yesterday was going to be a day of free moments.

Ryan, on the other hand, showered three times yesterday. Now that may seem selfish, but he was also gone from the house 9-7 except to shower. The pager went off early calling the volunteer fire men to a house fire. They thought they had it out a couple of times, but it kept flaring up on them.

I finally went the local store last night around 7:45, right before closing. The owner checked me out and she worried that my husband may have had to go to work after fighting the fire all day. "Nope" I replied. She said she felt awful that the family wasn't able to get more things out. Every time they thought the fire was extinguished and gave the all clear to go in, another smoke stream or spark would show up and they would have to evacuate again. "I just feel bad about the snow globes." she said. I looked at her with a funny look. She explained to me that the family had been collecting the globes for their 5 year old daughter. It must have been quite a collection.

I said to her that we should be happy that no one was home and no one was hurt. Things can be replaced, I said. She shook her head and said not all things. She's right. Photographs, first baby shoes, records, collectibles. This is all small stuff; like a shower or a freshly vacuumed floor. Small stuff that matters but we can live without them, can't we?

When Ryan came home for supper and we prayed, he prayed a prayer of thankfulness for the house over our head and the safety of our family. Little stuff we so often take for granted. I thanked God for a busy home full of life so full that it often doesn't leave time for small stuff like showers, naps, and cleaning. What a blessing in disguise!

While I was out of the house for a few moments, I delivered a box of clothing and pajamas for the family. I hoped it would help with the night and the next few days, anyway. It was a small gesture but enough to make a difference, I hope.

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to...

It was a long night. Every night lately has been the same. It's wearing on me and my family.

Early this morning I took Nora into the shower with me. I held her tiny body and massaged her cradle cap and her tiny arms and legs until she was completely relaxed and sleepy. I thought about how wonderful she is and how blessed I am and tears came to my eyes.

At 7:30 my mom called. She said that her mom would always sing to her on her birthday and so she sang to me. She said she felt foolish. I cried.

Maleah got up early and came downstairs to wish me a happy birthday. She presented me a handmade card with a rainbow and hearts that said I love you mommy. She also sang to me. I hugged her close and cried again.

I logged on this morning, which is pretty special in and of itself, and I tried to read my dear friends blogs but my eyes were all misty so I gave up.

Today I get to vote for life. If I can dry my eyes up enough to make it to the polls, that is...

My older kids are all caught up in the election. Maleah says she is voting for John "Michael" because he likes tacos and has lots of pets. Gavin is a "Rock" Obama fan. He just likes saying the name, I think. But the fact that he plays basketball can't hurt much.

Dry your eyes and get out today and vote. It's my birthday and I'll make time.

See you at the polls ;)

It ain't over

It's November, kids. But we are still celebrating the last day of October and we have been for over a week. The kids have been (and still are) dressing up and 'trick or treating' at each others bedroom doors for candy. This morning they put the one year old Addison in the stroller and 'mom and dad' (Maleah and Gavin) went to the store to 'buy candy for the trick or treaters'. They made a haul on Friday night. It was beautiful here and the little spooks were out in full force. I was out of candy by 8 pm. The local family diner had a haunted house and free supper. Dh's sister took the kids and they had a ball. I had this adorable felt treat bag for Addi to use but she demanded a plastic pumpkin like her older brother and sister. She is stubborn. have. no. idea. where. she. gets. it. My husband jokes that the smaller you are around here the more apt you are to get your way and fast.

*You may have noticed I used names, I am tired of calling my little ones numbers. I am putting it all out there, laying my cards on the table so to speak. The new baby is Nora, by the way.

I'm rearranging again...

The sermon today was on stewardship. Your first thoughts are about money, right? I was pleasantly surprised that Pastor wanted us to focus on stewardship of our whole person. Our head, hands, and heart mostly, then the pocketbook.

It's amazing I get to listen to the sermon these days. I am nursing a baby while watching my mother wrestle a one-year old and grandpa handle the older two. It's a zoo. But, I am thankful for those helpers or we wouldn't even make it to church these days. Truth is, I got most of my knowledge of the sermon from Pastor's email and not from the words he spoke from the pulpit this morning. When I got to put my pennies in the can this morning (I have a birthday this week), Pastor asked the congregation to guess my age and I blurted out "90" because that's how old I feel. I know it's just new baby lack of sleep, but I am exhausted, and I have the circles under the eyes to show it. Who has time to apply makeup?

My quick wit reply to Pastor's email read something like, "thanks for understanding that I can barely remember all my kids when we leave the house on Sunday morning let alone my offering envelope and I hoped you would see my filling of the pews as a big part of my stewardship." Thinking back, I hope Pastor saw the circles under my eyes this morning and wrote my reply off as complete craziness from woman who hasn't slept more than 3 hours a night in weeks.

Nursing gives me a ton of time to sit and think. Mostly about what I should be doing the minute I lay the baby down. On top of the daily grind of dishes and meals there are maternity clothes to be packed up and rooms to be organized and projects to be finished. There is the budget, oh the never ending saga of not having enough money. I wish we could all be more content with our position. We are in the middle of an amazing group of human blessings and I can barely find the time to spend with them. There is always a nagging to do list.

Since the hubby started full-time weekends, Sundays are my hardest. I have no energy left. The house is a mess, the dishes aren't done, the clothes are piling up in the laundry room and my brain is fried. Today is a beautiful warm summer like day and I haven't been out except to walk across the street for church. It's a darn shame. So today, after church when grandma took the older kids to a benefit breakfast I put the babies down for a nap and thought about rearranging.

My priorities are all messed up.

Matthew 6:32-33 says "Your Heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.

Do you have any idea how much of my day is spent worrying about my needs and the needs of my family? I think it's about 99.9%, about 100% too much. Talk about shame...

I need to put God back at the top of my list. He is so great at handling the small stuff, if I would only let Him. If I can just focus on Him all those other details will fall into place. It's a lot harder than it sounds. No screaming at the kids or feeling worthless or way out of the Jones' league. Letting those worries go is pretty darn difficult but lucky for me He's not concerned with how long it takes me to get it right just that I focus more on trying.

I am trying to make God more meaningful in my WHOLE life. I need to move Him from my head to my heart to my hands.

I think I like that arrangement.

One and walking

#3 turned one on Saturday. Thanks for the 'surprise party' Kris and Bobbi!

She started walking last week.

It makes for interesting days here...

tired doesn't even come close to explaining how I feel...

This morning already I have;

• pried my newborn off my nipple to get up and make daddy coffee before he left for class
• made whack 'em on the counter cinnamon rolls to accompany breakfast because I feel guilty about the next bulleted item
  

• gotten oldest child off to school with a dose of Tylenol because she gets a flu shot today and I cannot drag the circus there to be with her
• changed two poopy diapers
• cleaned up a spilled (forgotten) cold cup of coffee off the living room carpet
• stepped in some squishy substance on the kitchen floor and immediately had to wash all the carpets and bleach the floor, I think it was poop
• went through clothing from my sister to find only one matching mitten to go with the one shoe she normally sends
• finally downloaded first birthday pictures and have yet to post them
• nursed the baby again and again
• answered the phone a dozen times