That would make a good book title, don't you think? This post is for Karen, you better get your blankie ready...you are gonna need a whole night's sleep after this one...as if!
This is a true story, no one's names have been changed and I even left out my typical exaggeration because, believe it or not, I couldn't even make this stuff up.
I woke up this morning with good intentions. I hummed my morning song, learned years ago in church camp from Pastor Krueger and his lovely guitar...
"Good morning God,
Good morning God,
and not good god it's morning.
Good morning God,
Good morning God
Dear God it's a beautiful day, "
That is one moment in history I would return to in a second. Church camp rocked!
I went through the motions of morning like I usually do. Make the coffee, get out the cereal bowls, unload the dishwasher, change a diaper or two, lay out clothing and toothbrushes. Then I heard a sizzling sound...I forgot to put the carafe in the coffee maker! Hot coffee all over the counter top and dripping to the floor.
So, I get things cleaned up and sit down in THE CHAIR. That would be the nursing spot. Soon I hear a splash and a ting. Someone spilled their cereal. A very tiny voice floats from the kitchen, "I'll clean it up mommy, don't worry."
Get the first-grader out the door and switch nursing sides to see a visitor at the door. An uncle looking for dad's help. Dad is sleeping 'till noon, I say and decide that while I am up and the baby is screaming anyway I should make supper. So I cube a round steak and throw some of my garden canned 'maters and carrots and potatoes in for a stew. Baby is still screaming so we take a nursing break. Before long it's 11 am and I have to shower. Got to get to town for a !@#$ haircut that I scheduled BEFORE dad picked up the night shift. So I pump, wake up daddy, jump in the shower, put clean clothes on and head out the door with wet hair for the second time this week, hey at least people know I am clean!
Get to town, get the hair cut and come out to a FLAT TIRE! I am not kidding. Just another typical day in mommyville. So I drive real slow like across the street to HyVee gas. I pull up to the free air box and get my cold, no jacket or gloves, body out to get the hose. I undo the cap and push the thingy on the other thingy and hear a faint wheeze. Nothing happens. My new do is blowing in my face as I contemplate that the tire actually looks flatter now than before. I notice the attendant boy looking through the window at me, oh what I would give to be 9 months prego again. I get back in the car, speed dial the hubby and ask him what to do.
"Did you turn the compressor on?" WHAT? You have to do more than unscrew the lid and put the thingy on the thingy? HUH? Curse, curse, cursity, curse, curse... CURSE. I scan the car and find some huge black gloves. I put them on and venture out again in my damp clothes with my damp hair blowing in my face and no it doesn't feel like a Pantene commercial. I look at the FREE AIR box.
Down at the bottom right hand corner it has a round button and this word,
Curse, curse, cursity, curse, curse... CURSE.
I fill the tire with air. I am starving and head to the Chinese counter for lunch. My kids love Chinese food, it is such a treat for us. I buy the family meal with an extra side of fried rice that costs me more than a whole box of brown rice. I cringe.
About an hour later...
We are sitting at the table at mowing down on Chinese food when my first-grader comes in and shouts, "RICE! Mom, you make the best after school snacks."
That beef stew will be even better tomorrow night for supper, don't you think?