Thursday, June 29, 2006

Pain control

Today was particularly painful. Early this morning I got my epidural catheter removed and then I had to manage my pain using pills and a few injections. It started out pretty rocky, I got a little light headed and had some ringing in my ears. I think my blood pressure had a little problem stabilizing. They caught me in a wheelchair and put me back to bed for awhile. I felt much better after resting. Later on I got the iv out and then I was wire free. I felt sort of "naked" going for a walk without a pole and a whole bunch of tubes trailing me.

Had lots of visitors again today. We feel very blessed to be a part of such a wonderful community of family and friends. Some very thoughtful friends even brought some books and a DVD player and some movies to keep us occupied tonight.

I have been very organized writing down all of my visitors and gifts on a notepad and tonight I was frantically looking for it. I think the cleaning staff may have accidentally tossed it, my heart is crushed, I just have no faith in my memory. I am praying for enough brain cells to recover all the names I had written....I know it was two pages long.

The doctor did not have any answers for us today. We were unable to meet with him and discuss the diagnosis or treatments so we are trying to be patient and wait for news tomorrow.

I have been pretty fatigued these past few days, but not too tired for my brain to shut down. I have been thinking a lot about life and how I want to experience everything I can with my children and my family. My mom's family is planning a reunion in Branson, MO next Sept. Ordinarily I would say, "I'm not sure if we could go". But I found my self telling my aunt, "SIGN ME UP, reserve us a spot, we are not going to miss this one". I know my daughter will be just starting kindergarten, but I can only remember meeting my aunts and their families a handful of times in my 30+ years and I want my children to know their cousins and keep in touch if they can.

I had a long day and I can't think of any thing more to say. I am yearning for my own bed, my computer chair and soft blanket. I think the plan is for us to go home on Saturday....I'll keep you posted.
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