shoveling is for the birds...

I busted the zipper on my ski pants, but I decided to jimmy them well enough to wear outside. I let the kids out first and they trampled all the snow to make it even more fun to shovel. I decided stupidly to scoop the sidewalks first so I had hardly any energy saved for the driveway. My pants were around my knees and I was pushing and pushing and got only the very edge done when Mr. John Deere farmer comes and pushes most of the driveway out(thank you very much you saved me an hour of scooping :)), which I try, unsuccessfully, to finish it up perfectly and meanwhile slip and crack my head on the cement. I look like a tomato and my I think my double chin has frostbite. Oh, and I peed my pants. I'm done shoveling, forever.