Saturday, August 12, 2006

Happiness is Homemade

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."- Joseph Addison

Yesterday felt as close to normal as possible. I woke up with an urge to clean (finally) so with my family's help we did the floors and the bathrooms. It was nice to be able to walk on the floor without picking up hitchhiker crumbs. I even did some laundry and hung it out to dry, it took all day because of the humidity, but nonetheless I felt like I did something worthwhile. While the kids were napping I attempted a new cereal bar recipe only using the microwave, I overcooked the marshmallows and my bars feel like rubber balls. So, for the time being, cooking is not my forte'. Funny how something that gave me such joy a few months ago can be such chore and very easy for me to just avoid lately.

Dh was glad that I was distracted for a few hours so he could get some much needed "bike" time in. He has been trying to fix up an old motorcycle and he finally got it running. This one is even big enough for me to ride on. I was sort of angry about the motorcycle when he first started the hobby but now I realize that he, too, needs an outlet and as long as it doesn't involve him killing himself I shouldn't moan about it. He rode around for hours yesterday and when he finally came home, he was happy and that made me happy, too.

Last night, after a delicious meal and a glass of red wine, we had some visitors from the Colony. The girls are so nervous when they see me, I can feel their little bodies shaking when I hug them. They brought me some garden goods and today we are attempting to make a few quarts of salsa. I hope that in the months to come I don't forget this warm feeling of comfort that comes from being loved by my friends and neighbors. I can't believe the outpouring of support that comes from everyone. It never ceases to amaze me. Every day something happens that makes me thank God for the blessings He has given my family.

My happiness is made up of tiny little pieces - the little soon forgotten kindness of a smile, a short but pleasurable conversation, a heartfelt get well wish, these mixed with amazing charities like hot homemade meals, anonymous gift certificates and baked goods, and a benefit planning committee make this whole experience worth every funky moment. Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

Many people have told me, "God knows your strength, He believes you can get through this." I do believe, with all of my heart and soul, that the will of God will never take me to where the grace of God will not protect me. He does that for each and every one of us.

(thanks to my wonderful, amazing sil for the photo :))

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