Monday, August 07, 2006

I'm not afraid of scary movies anymore.

My dh and I put the kids to bed at 830 last night and they stayed in bed. We took advantage of the quiet time and put in a movie that dh had seen parts of and wanted to see again. It was a vampire/bounty hunter type thing with special effects to knock your socks off. I LOVE scary movies. I am usually on the edge of my seat and enjoying the rush of adrenalin when I just can't take it any longer. But, last night (maybe it was just the movie) I had no reaction. I even yawned and started to nod off. I guess when you are concentrating on staying alive, scary just isn't the same anymore. We went to bed before 11 and by 3 my dd was up crying that she was hot. My dh got her some tylenol and I kept a safe distance from her with my heart in my throat the whole time. I don't want to be sick, but I wanted to comfort her. I took her temperature, 102. My doctor said if I have a temp. of 100.5 I have to go in BEFORE an infection has time to start in my rundown body. I put some cool cloths on her while dh rocked her in the chair. She was shivering and I was shaking with fear. I washed my hands several times, feeling extreme guilt and jealousy that I was not the one holding her. The fever passed and she fell back asleep and this morning she is fine. But I was awake trying to figure out how I am going to make it 5 more months without catching something. I can't believe how scared I am. It's pathetic. It makes my skin crawl. Wait, no that's just the hair falling out and getting caught on my arms...
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