Friday, January 05, 2007

A lesson in patience, I think.


If I was still on my treatment schedule I would have had chemo this week. I have been trying to evaluate myself to see if I feel any different. The truth? Nope. Not yet. I have a feeling it might be awhile. I haven't been feeling that terribly bad anyway, but I think a lot of that is just knowing I don't have to go back. I do notice my hands and feet are still numb and sore and much dryer than usually. My hands feel swollen and it hurts to type or write. I think that that has a bit to do with the time of year, although I haven't really experienced it this bad before. I know my immune system is still a little weak. I can't seem to shake this stuffy nose and congestion. But I can deal with it. For about a week or maybe a little longer I stopped taking my vitamins and that was not the right thing to do, so now I am back on track with that and I am using the hot house and chi machine daily. Supposedly the chi also helps with appetite suppression I will put that to the test I am sure... One thing that has slowed down the last couple of weeks is the hair loss, or maybe I just don't notice it when my hair is this short. It almost feels like my scalp is shrinking. Before, my head was so sensitive and sore. It feel better now. That's a good thing, I think. Maybe I'll start growing back the hair I lost and look like a human chia pet. (Only I don't need water to grow, just chocolate...good luck chi machine.)I really do want to get my port removed. Yet, part of me doesn't want to jump the gun. My PET scan isn't until late March and wouldn't it be awful if...well I just don't want to have have another surgery to put it back in. Part of my frugal nature just thinks that would be a waste of money. I could use a lesson in patience. Maybe this is how God will teach me to wait. Good things come...right?

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