Saturday, July 08, 2006

The grass is always greener after a cancer diagnosis.



My sister called last night and wanted to get together since both her and her husband had the day off. We made plans to meet at Falls Park around 10 am this morning. I woke up early and called mom to invite her and she, in turn invited her friend, my brothers and their families. My family was the last to arrive, the kids didn't even wake up until after 9. I showered all by myself (I feel like my two year old when I write that, but it was an accomplishment) and got ready. I must have tried on 6 shirts before I realized I didn't have one that I could wear in public with out a bra. I started to panic and think that I would have to be sitting in the 90 degree weather with a sweatshirt on when I remembered this sundress I had that was an empire waist and maybe just maybe I could get by without.....YES! It fit and no one would ever know. We had the perfect spot in the shade with my two brothers and my sister and their families. It was a pleasant temperature with a little wind. I have always thought of my family as small, my dad died when I was young and he was sick and not living with us for years before that, so it has always been my sister, my mom and the boys. Now, here we are with all our kids, my sister has four, my brothers have two and one, with my two that makes NINE! We went from quiet gathering where we would visit, play cards and eat and then nap the afternoon away to pure chaos. The oldest will be 8 in October and the youngest will be two months in week or so. I am having deja vu, I think I wrote about this before. Anyway, I kept wondering what my dad would have thought of all these kids....It was beautiful and the kids played frisbee and catch and we all had a picnic. I wish we did things like that more often. We can hardly get everybody together for holidays anymore.

Got home and there was fresh baked goodies on the table. We tore into them before we even had our shoes off. I love sweet rolls and chocolate chip cookies! Thanks again to everyone who has so generously shared food or treats with us. They are so greatly appreciated!

Tried to nap a little but church was at 5 and I really wanted to go, haven't been in 2 weeks and that is where I do my best thinking. Our church is tiny, and everybody has their own 'reserved pew', you know when there is a visitor because someone is sitting in a different spot. We have a new young pastor and I love his sermons. I can really relate to them. My church is like my extended family. These are the people who came and knocked on my mom's door 20 years ago and offered to take us to Sunday school. They know me as well as my brother's and sister's. I got about 6 hugs and a lot of "praying for you's". This from people that I know are fighting their own battles right now; illness or money or relationships. It was comforting and I will continue to pray for them as they pray for me.

My husband is out in the tree in our backyard right now, he has an extension ladder that scares the heck out of me so I am in here distracting myself. I love him to death, but sometimes he is just not smart. Why do those branches have to be cut tonight? He has been so helpful lately and I am so thankful even though he did put my favorite pampered chef stoneware in a sink of hot soapy water to soak overnight. I love the way he thinks he is cleaning as he just piles things up in corners and on shelves. I can't complain though, my kids are clean and my laundry is kept up and he even vacuums. He is a keeper.

I barely had time to remember to take a pain pill today. I am so glad that I am healing fast and gaining strength back every day. I know it sounds weird, but I think I am actually going to be a better person because of this. I mean, before this diagnosis, I would have complained about the flies and the heat and the loud motorcycles at Falls Park. I would have been annoyed that my kids were not sharing with their cousins. I would have wanted to leave an hour before we left today and would not have seen the point of a gathering for no reason. Instead, I watched my baby brother tenderly help his wife hide herself while she nursed their newborn for the first time in public. I watched my nieces and nephews solve their problem of taking turns all by themselves. I witnessed my daughter actually get down and help her brother climb on a rock instead of leaving him crying. I giggled as my other brother chased his two toddlers around the park, they thought it was a game, he was trying to keep them close and safe. The kids played hide and seek behind big trees and Grandma brought beautiful kites to fly high in the sky. My son and I reviewed our colors as the hundreds of motorcycles roared by our little shady corner of the park. I swatted at the bugs while I held my husbands chapped hands and my brother in law shot photos of all of us. It was a great day, this day that the Lord has made and believe me I did REJOICE and be glad in it. I really did.

Tomorrow is the real test. Dh plays at Canaries Stadium at 2:30 p.m. I am bringing my lawn chair and a pillow and a big hat to block the sun. Wish me luck! Go Muckdogs!
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