Sunday, July 02, 2006

Normalness; for a few hours at least

It has been so wonderful to be around my kids again. I missed them so much this last week or so. My son has asked me every day, "mom, are your owies better yet?' He is so thoughtful and considerate for a two year old.

Last night my inlaws came and we had an amazing supper with corn on the cob and chicken and potatoes and melon. YUMMY! I felt like I hadn't eaten in days. My son loves corn so much, he stood in his chair the whole time, he never even sat down to eat. He just stood and gobbled it up. It is so good to see him eat well, he has been such a picky eater lately.

After the meal we all retired to the backyard where my son and husband started a game of t-ball. The laughter was good medicine. He would hit the ball and run the bases, screaming "catch me daddy.." he was giggling so hard he could barley run, it was more of a toddle and he kept wiping out right before second base. He must have hit 20 home runs out of our yard. He probably ran a mile, he just wouldn't quit. He was having so much fun, I imagine he wanted it to last forever. We finally bribed him to slow down enough to eat an orange popsicle, but he was right back to it after his "snack".

It was humid so we came in and watched a bit of the discovery channel. There was a show about squids on and they showed over and over how the squid would use it's tentacle to catch fish. My son was pretty intrigued with the show and kept saying, "look, he got another one" every time a fish was snatched up by the squid. He was opening and closing bottles of lotion at the same time and smelling the scents and sharing the smell with his great aunt, so I didn't think he was really paying any attention to the t.v. But, later on, after I went to medication sleep land, my husband and his parent were out on the deck with my son and they were talking and playing when my ds (dear son) went to follow my dh to the garage and make a quick 360 back to the deck, he was pretty frightened and started mumbling something about the thing in the grass that was gonna get him. It took him a while to calm down. Upon further investigation, my dh saw a small pile of some long leaves from my hostas that he had removed earlier (they were damaged from our deck wash last week) and together in the dark, they did sort of look like a squid lying in the grass....
My dh is sharing this story with me as I am taking more meds at 3 am and we are both laughing and crying at the same time wondering why we even let the poor child watch such a scary t.v. show anyway.

Last night was good, I felt great actually from about 415 to 9ish, in between my medicated sleeping times. It was nice to relax and feel kind of normal for a few hours. My brother-in-law (I have 8 of them, so you never know who I am referring to-hehehe) brought over a hospital bed for me to sleep in (well, I guess that kind of narrows it down, doesn't it). It really helped me to relax, I slept for 4 hours straight and then after more meds another 3 or so. I can't believe how much a bed can make a difference. I can lower and raise the head and feet until I am perfectly comfortable.

My mom is researching something called a CHI- machine. I am not completely sure what it is. I do know that it uses heat and light and massage to "heal". She has used one before and is interested in finding out the benefits of using one while I am in chemo. I am all for something that would help me feel more relaxed and calm.

My dd (dear daughter) spent the night at Grandma's again. She told me matter of factly last night, "I just have to be with Grandma for a little longer, mom, then I will come live at home again, don't miss me too much, I will pray for you again!" She has been praying a lot lately. My mom taught her the 5 finger prayer. The thumb reminds us to pray for family; the pointer finger reminds us to pray for people who point like teachers and pastors and policemen; the tallest (middle) finger is to remind us to pray for leaders like the president, the mayor and the governor of our nation, state, communities and committees (when teaching this to my in-laws, my dd just raises one finger at a time and when she got to this one and said, "this finger is for the president" my mother in law snorted and said something like " I agree with you on that one", we all just about fainted from laughing); the ring finger is your weakest finger and should remind you to pray for the weak and the sick and the people who need God's help and forgiveness; last is your pinky finger, the smallest to remind you to pray for yourself.

Breakfast was another feast and I think I must lay down for a bit and digest. I am fearful for the time when all of this eating comes full circle, that hasn't happened yet. Sorry if that is a little too much information. You don't have to read this, you know.....
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