Truth time. This is it, for real. Are you ready? I got the best guy in the world, the UNIVERSE. He is really something. I knew that before this disease grabbed a hold of me, but it has really been hitting home lately. Not only is he the cream of the crop, it gets better.....he comes with family, a HUGE one and they are all like him in a very special way. (Hence the title, there are still 4 single Gordon's 3 boys and one girl, get them while they are young, people)
I just know that nobody else can have it this good. This family is stuck like glue, I mean it is "all for one and one for all." They have been through more than their share of tough times and now that I think about it, maybe that is the reason why they are so precious.
I knew I wanted to marry him at my first family dinner. I can't even remember what holiday it was. But, I remember the table. It was longer than one of those banquet tables in the church fellowship halls - this; in their REGULAR dining room. There were so many of them, you could get lost. It was like a small village and it was so inviting. I think that was the first time I learned about how big your heart is and how it can love so many unconditionally. I only have two kids and when I was pregnant with ds I kept thinking, "how am I going to love this one as much as I love my baby girl?". Dh's mom has nine children. NINE. That is pretty average for my community. There are families here that have children in numbers that break 14. (most of the town is Catholic and I am Lutheran so I always joke that Catholics don't use birth control...forgive me Lord.) Not only did they have all these kids, but they were content, it was chaos, but not the kind that would drive you to drink, it was a comfortable hum. It was a drug and I was hooked. There were times in our relationship that I seriously thought, "I can't break up with him, I would miss his family too much."
After we were married and I was a full-fledged Gordon, the support increased. It wasn't necessarily money or even anything physical you could wrap your fingers around. It was better. It was this shield of protection that practically no one could penetrate. We had crap to wade through, and in those times when it was the toughest, dh's father would hoist us up onto his back and carry us out. It isn't perfect. Sometimes having a large family hurts. It hurts real bad. But, then forgiveness bubbles up out of the cold, hard places and everything is good again.
BONUS. He comes with more family. There are aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews and we keep growing and becoming stronger each year. My kids see their great aunt and uncle at least once a week. It is a community chock full of family. (this is where I usually joke that dh had to marry me because I was the only person he was not related to) Whenever I need someone to talk to; a place to get away; someone to take the kids; to make supper; to give me a break; I can always find that person. I know that my kids will always be watched over, even when I can't be around to do it myself.
Speaking of leaving, my dh and I were talking about me going on this trip and I think he will miss me (sniff, sniff). I will miss him, too. I want him to be with me when the first hair falls out of my head, when I am so tired he has to carry me to bed, when I need someone to hold my hair(while it is still here) while I spit into the toilet. But, he needs a break, too. He deserves a few days off from caring for me and I am sure he would enjoy sleeping in and not watching me mope around the basement. God knows he has earned at least that.
I was at the game last night wondering why I was so calm about leaving, when my sil came and reminded me that she is available if we need her for anything. My beautiful niece said her or her mother are available, too. This along with many of my friends who also offerred to help. I knew it would work out, that is why I am not getting all worked up about it. It's like magic...Only it's not, it's real life. My life, and I love it.