Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Happy Thoughts

I slept like a baby. Went to bed before 10 and did not get up till almost 4 then went right back to bed until 8. GOD IS GOOD! (drugs really help, too.)

Dh's family left yesterday afternoon and we are back to a somewhat normal family again. The kids are so out of routine (like we had one anyway). It will be nice to have a sort of normal rest of the week. Actually the kids are still sleeping. Dh slept upstairs last night, and I thought I would be lonely, but I did just fine here in my hospital bed in the toy room. Awhile back I had the strange notion to use sticky tac and put up the kids' paintings on the walls so they could see them while they were playing. I am so glad I did it. It is so nice to wake up to orange and pink blobs that have no shape or substance but mean more to me than most of my possessions.

I almost felt like we couldn't do it, though. When my mother in law left, I felt scared and alone. She had made our meals and cleaned and took care of the kids. She even used my cherries to make a homemade cobbler. I kept thinking, how are we going to do it without her? She hugged me before she left and just matter of factly said, "you've got things under control here." I didn't believe her. But she was right, and the only way for us to get back to normal is to do it. So here we are.

Today I have a list of things to do. YES, I am one of those people. I LOVE lists. It feels to good to get it down on paper and then later cross it off. I have a terrible memory lately and writing things down just sort of make them cement, you know, unless I lose the paper, which I have done...

One of the things on my to do list is make a will. I have been researching it for a week or two now and I think I know exactly how I am going to do it. I want my dh to do it, too. Even if I wasn't sick, it would be a good idea. In my state, if my husband and I both died, our children would be wards of the state. That is NOT going to happen. So anyway, I am going to do it, just a simple one. I have nothing of value except my children and I want them to be cared for by a family member.

Had some nice phone calls and visitors last night. It really helps keep my spirits high.
I am drinking some fancy chocolate coffee that one of my friends brought and there is a pile of magazines and books that I am anxious to read this week. I am wearing new pajamas and I smell so good from this awesome lotion that I got. I have beautiful angels and flowers to look at and cards to read and reread. I have a home. I have two beautiful children. I have a too awesome for words to describe husband. I have tons of friends and family. Life is good, GOD IS GOOD!

"...He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
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